The Way Things Are
by Annie McAdams
Summary: She was supposed to marry Nathaniel Howe, but that was before Alistair was claimed as a spare to the throne. How do you let go of a first love to follow what your heart tells you is right?
1. Chapter 1

The sun was high in the noon sky as Elissa ran along the shore, Nathaniel chased behind her; their combined laughter filtered through the trees that surrounded the water.

Nathaniel caught Elissa in his arms her back against his chest, he spun her in a circle.

"Nathaniel, let me go." Elissa squealed as Nathaniel sat at the water's edge pulling her down into his lap.

Nathaniel pulled her auburn hair behind her ear and dropped a kiss to her collar bone.

"You," Nathaniel whispered up her neck between kisses. "Are," Another kiss with a little nip to her ear, "Beautiful."

Elissa giggled and wiggled to turn around in his arms. "And you are roguishly handsome." Elissa's dark blue eyes searched his grey ones and they turned up in a smile. "Kiss me Nate."

Nathaniel lowered his head, brushing his lips over hers softly, "As you wish." The kiss intensified as he lowered her slowly to the sand beneath them. Nate's tongue darted in her mouth, as the kiss became hungry and needy.

Nathaniel's hands were roaming up her hips, as his lips traced a blaze of fire down her neck to the swell of her breasts.

Elissa sucked in her breath, as Nathaniel's hands pushed up her linen shirt and breast band; his hands rough from constant training with his bow circled her breasts. Elissa arched her back and released a small moan, Nathaniel chuckled and moved his head down and ran a tongue around her nipple causing it to pebble before he sucked it into his mouth nibbling on it softly.

Elissa stifled a yell by biting the back of her hand.

Nathaniel lifted his head, "You like that my sweet?" Elissa writhed beneath him as his hands slid back down her stomach to the waist of her leather breaches his hand slipped under the waist band as his lips went back to hers. His tongue was hot against her lips, Elissa opened her mouth inviting him, as his tongue met with hers his fingers found her and he slid a finger against her wetness bringing it up against her center of nerves, she shivered under him and moaned into his mouth.

Elissa could feel Nate's hardness against her leg and she moved against it, as she felt his fingers leave her and he made to pull her breaches down and that snapped her back to reality.

"Nate, no we can't, I can't."

Nathaniel groaned deep in his chest and rolled off Elissa laying next to her on the beach his breaths coming in short rasps.

"Andraste's flaming ass Elissa, I can't do this; I'm just a man I don't have eternal control. You should be mine; I should have been able to marry you a year ago. But no the bastard son of the dead King gets your hand. Blasted son of a bitch I hate politics. The fact that King Maric claimed him so he could have the heir and the spare just pisses me off to no end; You and I we're betrothed from the time we were babes. It was all broken for him, because you're the second best thing to a Royal Princess and he's a better match as he's of Theirin blood."

"We knew this would happen, don't be angry, I want us to part happy. You and Fergus are going to fight darkspawn, not afternoon tea with King Cailan." She sat up and held his hand.

Nathaniel sat up slowly and stared into the blue eyes in front of him.

"Was it not for the Blight and Fergus and I riding off to battle tonight, we would be headed to your wedding."

"I love you though, Nate remember that. But it does not change what must be." She searched his eyes pleading.

"My love, I know it does not, love does not matter in this the game of Nobles. King Cailan married Anora to please everyone, because her father is a damn war hero. Then he matched you with Alistair, to solidify his position because he's a bastard. A match with you, would make him more secure as the spare to the throne. It has nothing to do with love." Nate's eyes were sad as he mumbled the last word.

Elissa scooted closer to him "I do love you, I should have let you go, and you should be married by now, Nate not holding on to something that can never be."

"Love, I shall be married at some point, that doesn't change my plans for us though, you'll give the King what he wants by marrying his brother, and you shall give the prince what he wants by providing him a son. But I shall have your love. You'll see, when he has his heir, you'll be able to be in my arms again, if we're careful."

"I don't know Nate; Alistair and I are friends, we've decided to yield to our fate, I'm sure he doesn't want to be married any more than I do, but I will be his wife."

Nate shook his head, staring into her eyes, "If all the King and he want is to secure his place, and for him to have an heir from you, don't you think he'll have a mistress, like Cailan does? Cailan, didn't even wait for the Heir."

Elissa shook her head, her face screwed up in thought.

Glancing up at the sky Nate sighed. "I have to go meet your brother." Nate leaned forward and brushed a kiss over her lips. "I wish I could dance with you one more time, kiss your lips as we fall asleep out on the hunt, your brother pretending he doesn't know. I'll miss you so much my darling, I'll see you when we get back. Go talk to your father I'm sure he needs to see you as you'll be watching the keep while we're all gone, then come find me at the stable so I can say good-bye properly." His lips brushed over hers again and then he was gone.

Elissa huffed as she fixed her clothing, smoothed her long auburn hair and tied it back with a string of leather, and made her way back to the castle.

The courtyard was in upheaval as Elissa walked into the castle, her lifelong friend Ser Gilmore waved and made is way to her. Elissa's Mabari Maximus bouncing behind him, "Hello Ser Gilmore, have you seen my father?" Elissa dropped her hand to Maximus's head and gave it a scratch.

"Yes, he's in the great hall with the Grey Warden and Arl Howe. I found Max here in the Larder by the way. I was looking for you to help me get him, yet I couldn't find you, so I risked life and limb to get him myself and settle Nan down, you owe me." He crossed his arms and gave her a good natured grin.

"Grey Warden, what's he doing here?" she quirked an eyebrow at him.

"He's here to test the knights; word is he's looking for more Grey Wardens."

Elissa grabbed his arm. "Do you think he's going to ask you, Oh Maker I wish I could go with you if he asked you. To be a Grey Warden, how fantastic is that?"

"That's not going to happen, you're betrothed to the Prince you know that. They would never let you join."

"Does everyone have to remind me, Maker it's like they think I could forget? I've got to go find my father, watch Max for me would you?" Elissa turned and stalked away but called back over her shoulder.

"Max would never have hurt you by the way, but thank you for what you did." Max whined and licked Ser Gilmore on the hand; Ser Gilmore chuckled and turned towards the barracks.

Elissa pushed open the door to the great hall and walked to where her father stood with Arl Howe and another man she assumed to be the Grey Warden, Ser Gilmore had mentioned.

"Ah, pup there you are, I've been waiting for you. I need you to go find Fergus and tell him that he and Nathaniel are to leave tonight without us. Arl Howe's men have been delayed and we must wait for them before heading south."

Elissa glanced from her father, to the man next to him, as she nodded. "Of course Father, I shall do as you ask as always."

Teyrn Bryce Cousland watched his daughter closely and motioned to the man next to him.

"Pup, this is Duncan the Grey Warden, he's here to test some of the Knights for promising recruits for the Grey Wardens."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Lady Cousland, if I might say Teyrn your daughter would make an excellent recruit as well."

Elissa opened her mouth to respond but her father stepped in front of her, cutting her off.

"I'm sorry Duncan that isn't possible, she is betrothed to Prince Alistair and I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate me sending his bride off to become a Grey Warden and fight the Darkspawn, when he and his brother are already south preparing to face the horde; unless you're asking to use the right of conscription?"

Duncan shook his head. "No Teyrn I wouldn't ask that of you."

Bryce turned to his Daughter, "Off you go now Pup, go find your brother and Nathaniel and tell them to carry on without us. There's my darling girl off you go."

Elissa left the great hall and headed towards the family quarters looking for her brother.

She found him standing in his room, with his wife Oriana and his son Oren.

"Ho' there Sister, I was just thinking about you." He bent forward and whispered into her ear, "Nate is looking for you; you should find him before we go."

"I will Fergus but first father wanted me to tell you that Arl Howe's men have been delayed, you and Nate are to continue south without them now."

"They really have been delayed. Great a trip to the cold south with Nate alone, I pray to the maker it's a swift trip. I'm really not looking forward to the cold and mud. May we be back before you know we're gone; now go find Nate and tell him the news. I'll tell father you headed off to bed early. Good-bye sister, I'll see you soon." Embracing quickly, Elissa left her brother to find Nate at the stables.

Nathaniel was standing with his back to the door when Elissa walked into the stables, he was brushing his charger, and she stopped leaning against the wall near him, just to watch this moment. She wanted to remember this, what he looked like; his black hair pulled back, lean muscle rippling on his arm as he brushed in fluid even strokes.

"Like what you see darling?" He turned to her, a smile lighting his eyes.

"You know I do, you're amazing."

Nate's long stride brought him to her in four steps and he scooped her up in his arms kissing her soundly. "I'll miss you my sweet. You have no idea how much." He dropped another kiss to her lips and held her close to him.

"Nate, I came to tell you something, your father's men have been delayed and you and Fergus are to go on south as planned. They will meet you when the rest of the men arrive."

"Oh, of course my father gets to stay in a warm bed another night while Fergus and I get to freeze in the rain and mud. I'd much rather be with you wrapped up before your fire." He kissed her ear and his fingertips tickled her neck as he brushed her hair back.

"I don't want to think, that this may be the last time I get to hold you like this before, well, before you're married."

"Please don't say that Nate. Kiss me and leave knowing I love you and I'll see you again. Before I get weepy or perhaps that temper I'm famous for kicks in."

Nate chuckled and traced the tip of his tongue over her bottom lip, she opened to him and he claimed her mouth as his own. 


	2. Chapter 2

The moon was high above them as Nathaniel pulled his charger next to Fergus. The silence seemed to stretch on, just as the road before them.

Fergus chanced a glance at his friend and shook his head. "You look as though you've lost your best friend, that can't be possible though, because I'm right here. You could try talking you know; I understand it's neither your strongest nor most passionate past time, but I am here."

Nathaniel turned his head slightly towards Fergus's voice; he could just barely make out the shape of his face and the light that caught his eyes as he regarded him.

"Yes well I'm not sure anything I have to say would make much of a difference in the current situation we seem to find ourselves in. Leaving to fight what could very well be a Blight. Not really the way I'd like to be spending my time; though the other option isn't to my liking either, so you see I might as well keep quiet."

"Come now Nate, killing a few hundred Darkspawn should be great fun. What's the point of all that training if we don't get to use it? What's this other option that isn't to your liking though? Your father has something in mind for you?" Fergus quirked a brow at him but it was lost to the darkness.

"Well the way I see it, the longer we're down here that means the King and Prince are there as well, which means we won't have to go to Denerim." Nathaniel let it sit at that and the silence settled back around them, before Fergus finally gave in and laughed low in his throat.

"What is so bloody funny Fergus?" Nate s voice was low with warning.

"You are that's what, I know you're in love with my sister. I've known since you two were twelve and I caught you in the stable, fumbling your way through your first kiss." Fergus laughed and continued.

"I know you two were betrothed but that was broken when you were what, fourteen? When Maric up and made his bastard legitimate and then died or disappeared, whatever. It was up to King Cailan to make sure his brother and right now, his only heir has a good match just in case. You know that what the King wants, the King gets. Besides your father will have something set up for you soon and you'll be married."

"You're not helping Fergus. I don't want to be married off, I want, well sod it, it doesn't matter what I want just leave it." Nathaniel gave Fergus a dismissive nod but it didn't stop him from continuing.

"Nathaniel, you're my best friend. Have been since we were children; joking aside which as you know is not an easy task for me. You're going to have to let her go, at least until she is married and had a child with Prince what's-his-face. Then, who knows, things like what you two have happen all the time, people look the other way in political marriages. But it would help if you were married as well; it doesn't look good if you're not married. Makes people think you're going to try and get her to run off with you. Not a good thing for the new princess."

"I am very aware of that fact, Fergus. It had been my plan, but I'm not so sure Elissa see's it our way, I m not sure she understands that the prince will take a mistress when he is done with her, and that if she is careful she can too. She's honest and proud, I love that about her, but she's also his friend and doesn't wish to hurt him. What if she falls in love with him? Maker the thought of losing her to him in all ways kills me."

"Have you met Alistair? I know you haven't outside of an official greeting at the palace, but just wait, I've known him since he was brought to the palace as a child. I ve been hunting every summer with him since he and Elissa were engaged, he's funny enough. I'm not sure how he's going to handle Elissa's temper. I bet he's not used to people, especially women yelling at him. You know how she is and can handle her temper. I think it's going to be quite interesting." Fergus chuckled

"Elissa is fiery; it's one of the things I love about her. Besides it's really helped me with my reflexes, you know, dodging her." Pausing Nathaniel's tone became serious. "What's he like? Alistair I mean."

"Well, as I said he's funny, likes to joke a lot. But he's a Prince I'm not sure how much of his humor is laughed at just to keep face. He looks just like Cailan and Maric. I tell you that's why Maric claimed him. Besides the fact that he was worried about only having one son; someone would have put that one together sooner or later as he got older I tell you. He seems like a kind sort though. If you're asking how he'll treat Elissa that is, he'll be kind to her, as I said it's him I'm worried about."

"Well I guess I'll find out soon enough." Nathaniel spurred his charger along and Fergus caught up to him.

"Just don't reveal yourself when the Prince talks about Elissa as his bride. I need your bow at my back during this, not you sitting in jail for punching the crowned prince in the nose for talking about sleeping with your girlfriend." Fergus snorted and pulled his charger to the side as Nathaniel took a swing at him.

"You're impossible, Fergus. Maybe the darkspawn will do me a favor and tear off my ears, before I have to listen to him talk about her like that. Come let's stop and let the men have a rest, your prattle is making me weary."

ooOoo

Ostagar was a hive of activity when Nathaniel, Fergus and their company of men set up camp and got some rest, though it was short lived as a call into camp heralded the summons of the King.

"Ho' there in camp," Came the yell of the personal guard of the King

Fergus pushed aside the flap of his tent and called back. "Ho' there, well met Ser. What can I do for you?"

"Yer Lordship, the King is requesting your presence and that of Arl Howe's son." The guard nodded and held out his arm motioning towards the Royal encampment.

"Of course Ser. Nathaniel we're being summoned I hope you're decent," Fergus yelled.

"Maker I hate you Fergus," called Nathaniel's sleep laden voice, "I'm coming, and of course I'm decent."

The walk was quick to the Royal enclosure and King Cailan and Prince Alistair were outside, a map rolled out before them. Loghain the general of the Kings Armies and advisor to the King was off to the side. The annoyance on his face was as clear as day, as Fergus and Nathaniel approached the tent.

"You must send a scouting party first your Majesty it needs to be men well trained in tracking I suggest," Loghain was interrupted when Fergus and Nathaniel halted on the other side of the table.

"Ah, Fergus it is good to see you." Fergus bowed and was quickly pulled up by Cailan who was bright and golden in his armor, grasping his forearm in a greeting.

Nathaniel bowed as well, letting his eyes dart up at the other man in a set of matching silver plate behind the King. The resemblance was striking, Fergus was right someone would have caught that sooner or later. His hair was shorter but if he let it grow it would be hard to tell them apart.

"Fergus, you know Alistair." Fergus bowed his head, "of course, it's good to see you again your Highness." Alistair chuckled and grasped his forearm in a greeting as well.

"Fergus, no need to stand on ceremony; I am after all going to be your brother-in-law soon. I expect you won't be doing that to me at every family meal, it would be quite awkward to feel like I have to watch my table manners, and don't look at me like that, Cailan I'm not a slob all the time." He rolled his eyes before pausing, he regarded Nathaniel next to Fergus for a moment before he smiled.

Nathaniel bowed. "Ah, Howe it's good to meet you outside of the palace. I've heard so much about you, no don't look startled. Elissa talks often of your skill with the bow and how talented of a tracker and hunter you are when we speak."

The look Alistair gave Nathaniel then and the tightness of his grip spoke volumes more, than the smile plastered on his face.

Nathaniel released the prince's hand and stepped back to Fergus's side. Andraste's great heaving bosom he knew, the damned prince knew and he didn't seem to just be letting it go. Then again everyone knew they were once betrothed. Perhaps that was it, he was just watching for his reaction too closely.

"How is my Elissa, Fergus?" He put the emphasis on my and at that moment Nathaniel knew it was a reminder to him directly.

"She's much better than last you saw her. She had received quiet the thrashing on the sparring field that day and I think she had a slight concussion. She is much recovered; and I'm sure looks forward to this battle being over so she may join you in Denarim for your much awaited marriage." Fergus paused and Alistair grinned.

"I am looking forward to this all being over so we can settle down. I think the married life will suit me; having a wife, one that will travel and fight and spar with me, sounds much better than having one that just sits around and sews and does needlepoint."

Cailan laughed at that and slapped his brother on the back. "I m not sure you ve seen Elissa when she s fighting, but it can be rather scary, she s always been so nice around you. But you'll learn there are much more appealing things to do with her than hunt and spar."

Nathaniel was shocked to see Prince Alistair blush at the mention of the more pleasurable side of marriage; it wasn't possible that the crowned prince was a virgin was it? Even he himself had partaken in that, when he had been sent away to squire. Though it was something he thought every young man did, he hadn't told Elissa, and Fergus had wisely told him to keep it to himself.

Cailan continued, breaking his line of thought.

"Alistair, as beautiful and interesting topic, as your soon to be wife is, it is not the reason I called Fergus and Nathaniel here."

Alistair nodded "Of course, Cailan please excuse my babbling."

"Yes, well Fergus your King has need of you and your friend's talents. I need you to lead your men and scout into the wilds for me. I need to know if any of the darkspawn have broken off from the main horde and where they are headed. I don't want to take the chance of being outflanked."

He nodded towards Loghain who had stood silent at their side. "Loghain agrees with me on this point and thinks the two of you would be best to lead. I need you to leave as soon as you are able. Gather your men have a hot meal and head out. We'll wait for your fathers to join the main army."

With that King Cailan nodded his dismissal to Fergus and Nathaniel and as they made their way back to camp to ready the men, Alistair stared after Nathaniel a look of deep concentration on his face.

Without looking up Cailan laughed, "Alistair stop it he's nothing, they were betrothed as children and it's nothing to concern you as I said. You're to be her husband it's done. I remember when you first asked me for her, when I mentioned marriage and you said no other but her would do and you had only met her once, I put aside a long standing contract for you. So don t get cold feet now. Besides she s been with you every summer since you were fourteen, she s yours."

As Nathaniel and Fergus's forms disappeared into their camp, Alistair turned back to the map and Cailan.

"Yes well the way she talks about him you wouldn't know that. I think it was more than just them being betrothed as children; I think she cares for him. I have wanted her since I clapped eyes on her sure, but I want her to return that, and not just because I'm a prince. And not because I asked you for her."

Cailan rolled his eyes exasperated, and lifted his head. "Maker Alistair you're not even married yet and you sound like a fretting husband. Would you leave it for now, we need to deal with this blight or did you forget?"

"Oh stop looking at me like that you're happily married to a beautiful girl, who thinks the sun rises and sets on you so bugger off." Alistair leaned back over the map

"Oh, is that what she does? I thought she just scolded me and pouted when I don't come to bed on time. You'll learn. Makers Ass I hope Duncan is back soon with his new recruits, this waiting is putting me on edge." Cailan motioned for Loghain and they returned to planning the battle to come.

ooOoo

Back at the Cousland camp, Fergus and Nathaniel readied the men and set out for the wilds.

Nathaniel, try as he might, just couldn't get the look that Alistair had given him out of his mind. Prince Alistair had feelings for Elissa that much was clear, and to made things much more complicated, if the prince actually wanted her, he wouldn't just look the other way with him, worse, if Elissa was to find out, she would never come back to him. In fact, he could see her falling for him.

Maker damn it, he would not lose her to him.

"This is going to get complicated," he mumbled to no one in particular.

Fergus turned to say something, but thought better of it and they continued in silence. 


	3. Chapter 3

Blinding white light is what awoke Elissa when she was struck by a sharp slap to the jaw. "What in the bloody blue," another smack ended her train of thought and the taste of blood filled her mouth.

Her eyes snapped open and she realized she was not in her room but instead she was in the practice yard, in nothing but her small clothes; she was chained and had been leaned against the wall.

Try as she might she couldn't remember a thing after supper. She tried to shake the cobwebs from her mind but they stayed a foggy haze. Like trying to remember a dream after you've woken up. The harder you try the fainter they become like water through your fingers.

Elissa blinked to clear her eyes, before her were two of Arl Howe's men.

"I have no idea what you think you're doing, but when my father and the Arl hear of this," The man closest to her, a bear looking older man laughed and slapped her again.

"You think so? You'd be wrong little girl, your father won't be doing much of anything anymore."

Elissa's head lolled to the side and she snapped back, "listen here nug humper, you lay one more hand on me and I'll gut you myself. Where are my father and Arl Howe and why in the makers name am I in chains in my bloody small clothes?"

The second man, smaller and younger, with brown hair and muddy eyes caught the older man's hand as he cocked back to hit her again.

"The Arl said she was not to be harmed, she was to be kept until the others were dealt with."

Elissa looked from the one to the other, "Someone had better tell me what is going on, or Maker help me."

The older man shook the grip from the other and let his hand fly. "She'll be intact enough. It's a pity he's saving her; she looks like she'd make for a good roll, you could have fun with a body like that."

As his hand hit her jaw, her lip and the inside of her mouth broke open. She knew from enough spars that her jaw, eye and lips were all going to be bruised and bleeding.

The two men began to argue and Elissa stayed quiet, she couldn't hear what they were saying but she took the opportunity to test her wrists, which were red, raw and sore, but functional. Her legs seemed to be fine if not a bit scratched from what looked like being dragged.

Elissa took stock of what was around her in the practice yard; knowing if she could get to one of the weapons lockers she might have a shot. She was going to have to be quick, one movement up to the locker and pray to the Maker she could handle a sword in shackles.

Okay, now or never she thought. Jumping to her feet she began to run as fast as she could to her left. Just a few more feet, but just as she thought she might be able to reach it in time, powerful arms circled her from behind and threw her to the ground.

"Listen bitch, I thought I had made myself clear."

The last thing she felt was a blinding pain in her head, and the last thing she saw was the flash of silver and grey.

~~~ooOOoo~~~

"My Lady, I need you to open your eyes."

Elissa's head felt like it was going to crack open, "Mmphh no, please just leave me be."

A hand on her shoulder sitting her up, a cup to her cracked and blood caked lips; "Drink my Lady, small sips. There we are."

Elissa sipped once, twice, sputtered on the third and the cup was removed. Opening her eyes felt like opening lead weights. One eye was swollen and weeping so that was useless. She blinked her good eye and the light damn near blinded her. "Maker damn it all," she focused on the man before her. "Duncan? Wh-what are you doing here?" Her tongue felt awkward in her swollen mouth.

"Shh, just a moment let me get you some broth from the stew. You need to eat something and drink a bit more. There is much to say." Duncan left her sitting against the downed tree and walked towards the small fire.

Taking a look around her she found they were in a small camp in Maker knows where, the sun was setting and the forest they were in was thick with trees and foliage, she had been wrapped in a cloak. Closing her eyes she almost slipped blissfully back into unconsciousness when Duncan was once again seated next to her.

"Here my Lady, please eat a bit."

Elissa slowly sipped from the bowl but after the second swallow her stomach clenched and she set the bowl away. Reaching for the flask that Duncan held for her; swallowing deeply she felt the burn of brandy slide down her throat. After the fifth drink her stomach was feeling warm and she eyed Duncan.

Duncan sighed and took a swig of the brandy for himself.

"My Lady, how much do you remember?"

"Besides wh-whatever that was in the y-yard, nothing," hating the stutter of her voice she went quit. It was then that she took note of how tired Duncan looked, his armor spattered in blood and soot.

Duncan cleared his throat took another drink and handed the flask back to Elissa.

"Your home was attacked my Lady, from within. Arl Howe turned against your father, he had your entire castle murdered, besides you. I'm not sure but I believe he was going to use you against the King and Prince. To what end I don't know."

"What? You must be joking? That isn't possible; Arl Howe is my father's most trusted and loyal friend he would never." She took a long drink from the flask and sputtered

"It's not possible Duncan."

"I am sorry, but it is what happened. Your mother and father were killed in the raid. No one was left by the time I reached you. I killed the men that had you and carried you here, we are quite a distance away we should be safe for a bit, but we must keep moving towards Ostagar."

Licking her bottom lip, Elissa could taste the blood and sweat.

"My mother and father, oh maker Oriana and Oren; I was supposed to take care of them. How could I fail them so miserably, I should have been with them, protected them."

"It seems that you were all poisoned at supper the night of the attack. They captured you, killed the others before they were awake. There was nothing you or even Fergus could have done if he would have been there." Duncan watched her closely she was looking even more pale than she had on the trip here.

"Shit, Fergus! He's with, no, no Nathaniel would never he couldn't have known what his father was doing. He would never condone such an action."

Her head exploded at the thought and her stomach lurched as she turned to her knees and was sick over the edge of the downed tree. Slumping back she shook her head. He couldn't, but there was a nagging part of her that wondered, what if?

"I do not know if he had a part in this, My Lady. I only know that we must keep moving. We must reach Ostagar and inform the King and Prince of what has happened. You must rest we will leave soon after dark."

Duncan made to move but Elissa caught his arm stilling him. "Stay here, Duncan talk with me, we shall rest but I don't think I can sleep."

"Yes my Lady."

Elissa leaned into him, the tears stinging the cuts on her face and lip, "please don't call me My Lady, Duncan, not here not now."

"Yes my, yes Elissa." He smiled softly and moved her blood matted hair away from her face.

"That reminds me of the first time I met you, Elissa. You were six or so, I'm from Highever you know, and I knew from the way you looked at me the other day that you didn't remember me. I was visiting your father to look over his knights and you would sit on my lap by the fire and make me tell you Grey Warden stories. You swore to me in your six year old way, that you would be a Grey Warden and have a griffon. There was no convincing you otherwise. I remember I told you that there weren't griffons anymore and you just about ripped my beard off. Your mother was quite cross with you. You always were quite spirited."

Elissa nodded into his chest the tears coming harder, her voice was failing her but her she managed a sniffled "I'm sorry I didn't remember you." The silence settled around them and Elissa slipped in and out of a fitful sleep.

~~~ooOoo~~~

Duncan had taken the liberty of picking up armor, a sword and shield for her; the rest of the walk to Ostagar was miserable. They talked little and stopped to rest even less. The sword and shield were a comforting weight on her back but her head still felt as if it was about to split. Her eye was puffy her face bruised and her cuts stung. But out weighing all of that was her anger. Every step was punctuated by a deep burning hatred.

As she and Duncan made their way down the hill towards the ruins of Ostagar, Elissa was staring at her feet and the road beneath them when she heard a very familiar voice; she stopped dead in her tracks and fell behind Duncan. She had no idea what she would say or how she would say it, especially looking like this.

"Ho' there Duncan, we've been waiting for you." King Cailan approached with a contingent of his men.

"Your Majesty, I am sorry it took me so long. I wasn't expecting to see you so soon though."

"Well, I'm here now; you my friend deserve a Royal welcome. I see you have the new recruit you were looking for yes?"

Duncan paused before stepping aside. "That's not entirely what," but he was cut off when Cailan gasped.

"Elissa? What in the Makers name are you doing here? Andraste's blood you look awful."

"And yet, I feel so much worse, but thank you for pointing it out Cailan." She bit her lip at her tone, but didn't apologize.

Looking from Elissa to Duncan Cailan folded his arms over his chest. "What is going on here?"

Elissa opened her mouth and closed it a few times, trying to find the words.

Duncan saved her yet again by stepping forward. "Your Majesty, Arl Howe has shown himself to be a traitor, he has sacked Cousland castle and murdered everyone within. He had captured Lady Cousland and had I not gotten there in time, I'm sure he planned to use her against your Majesty and the Prince."

"Howe? He couldn't think he would get away with that; what was his plan? To kill off the family and marry her off to Nathaniel so I couldn't touch his family inheriting the Teyrn? He's mad, that would have never worked while I live. Besides Fergus is alive," Cailan stopped.

"Nathaniel Howe is with Fergus, is that why he was sent on with him?"

"No, Nathaniel would never hurt my family, Fergus is his best friend." Elissa's anger at the suggestion was palatable but she wasn't just mad at the fact that Cailan had mentioned it, but because she was also considering it.

Elissa felt her world spin her legs felt numb, no she would not faint. She was better than that, but her body, her head and the exertion from the trip didn't listen to her and she would have hit the ground if it wasn't for Cailan stepping forward and catching her in his arms.

"Come, Duncan we'll take her, let her rest and get her cleaned up, we can figure out what to do after that."

As Cailan carried Elissa into the tent, Alistair was stepping through the divider from the back.

"Well who's that then? Another fan that couldn't take your golden presence," he chuckled but paused confused as Cailan laid her on his bed.

"What are you doing Cailan, don't put her on my bed. What are you playing at? Alistair walked over to his bed and glanced over Cailan's shoulder.

"Maker, Elissa? Shit, what happened to her; why is she here?" Alistair moved a lock of hair away from her bloody and swollen face.

"Get my healer in here now." Alistair called behind him, to his steward.

"Cailan how about you tell me why my betrothed is on my bed looking like, well like this."

As they waited for the healer, Cailan regaled Alistair with the story Duncan had given him.

"Bullshit, with Nathaniel Howe just here too, do you think he was sent with Fergus to kill him? Maker I hope not. Elissa has lost everything, to think that she could lose Fergus too."

"We need to work right now on the assumption that Nathaniel has killed Fergus. That makes Elissa the Teyrna of Highever. I need her and that land secure Alistair." Cailan regarded his brother.

"I'm moving up your wedding Alistair, I need you wedded and bedded before this battle. If the worse is to happen I need to know that things are taken care of."

"What, marry here, now? But, is that even possible?"

"I don't have time or the ability to argue with you Alistair, I have a plan. It's glorious and you're just going to have to trust me." 


End file.
